We start one task before we finish the previous one. We’re usually ten steps ahead of the present moment.
How does this mindset affect our sex lives?
Often we will be rushing, trying to fit sex into our already busy lives, and taking our To Do list with us into the bedroom. None of these are factors that point towards high-quality lovemaking.
The Tantric tradition views sex as a sacred practice; as an opportunity to deepen into intimacy, expand our pleasure, and evolve as human beings. When we view something as sacred, we prioritise it. We see it as special, elevated, even spiritual. When we view something as sacred, this changes our attitude towards it. We give it more attention, reverence, and commitment.
Consider making a commitment to prioritise your sexuality. To get your sacred on. Set a realistic goal for yourself – perhaps begin with a sacred lovemaking session (with or without a partner) once a week, once a fortnight, or once a month.
How to bring the sacred into your lovemaking: Some simple tips
1. Prepare the space.
Before lovemaking, remove all clutter from the space. Set the temperature so that it is warm but not too hot. Turn off bright electric lights – use candles or a soft lamp. Decorate the room in some way – this doesn’t have to be elaborate, and may be as simple as bringing in some fresh flowers. You may also decide to incorporate props in order to heighten the senses of your partner and be creative with foreplay. Perhaps add some soft background music.
2. Prepare yourself.
Just like you clear the space, it’s also important to clear your body and mind. Prior to the lovemaking, spend at least twenty minutes doing some yoga, meditation, a free dance, or anything else that helps to bring you out of your busy head and into your body. You might decide to have a shower, put on a scent or perfume, or dress in underwear or clothes that you know your partner loves.
3. Take a moment to become present.
Remember: There is nowhere more important that you need to be. Presence and mindfulness are imperative in sacred lovemaking. The Tantrics even used a practice called ‘Consecration’. They would take a moment before lovemaking to connect to a higher presence, dedicating the lovemaking to this presence and invoking their higher selves.
4. Slow it down.
Rather than having a destination in mind, take your time. Take your focus off the orgasm and just enjoy the process of exploring each other’s bodies. If you have learnt Tantric massage skills, spend some time offering these to your partner.
5. Come back slowly.
Once the lovemaking has concluded, be mindful not to rush straight back into your busy lives. Stay in each other’s company, energy, and loving touch for a little longer than you normally would. Avoid jumping back onto social media or into work. Take time to bask in the experience.
To learn more about Tantric sexuality practices that will amplify the pleasure, passion, intimacy, and depth of your lovemaking, check out our upcoming Tantra Sexuality Workshop.