Almost four years ago, I met the love of my life.
We got together and it was ON. We were each other’s THE ONE – we were madly obsessed and deeply in love. It felt like we just clicked – like we spoke each other’s language. We couldn’t believe we’d found each other. I still remember him looking at me and saying ‘We’re pretty specific kinds of personalities. It would be hard to find anyone else that would fit the way you do with me and me with you.’ I knew exactly what he meant and felt the same way.
We used to go to a little market that ran on Saturdays near his house. One time I found a bracelet with the words ‘Love Conquers All’ engraved into it. I bought it, smiling knowingly. Of course it does.
Fast-forward a year down the track and I find myself in a living hell. Still deeply in love – that hadn’t changed. But I was in a relationship that clearly wasn’t working. Its was breaking down rapidly and I didn’t know what to do. I was still wearing the bracelet but was completely confused; Doesn’t Love Conquer All?!
I did everything I could think of to try and fix the situation and none of it worked. The emotional anxiety of being deeply in love with someone, whilst in a relationship that was spiraling downward was deeply distressing. My physical body started to break down, doctors having no idea what was wrong with me. My friends were watching me deteriorate and it looked like I aged 10 years.
Walking away from that relationship was, and still is, the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. The grief I went through was massive. I never realised I could hit such depths of pain. There is something about heartbreak pain that cuts so very deep.
As a result, I then threw myself into research. I wanted to learn everything I could about how relationships worked. What did the Tantric’s have to say? What did the experts advise? What were the secrets of couples who had been together happily for decades? I went to relationship counselors, to workshops, I read the ancient texts. I interviewed couples in their 80’s, I quizzed my friends. I studied everything I could.
In some ways, it made the healing process worse. Every time I learnt something new, I’d think – ‘If only I knew that when we were together.’ If only, if only, if only… Over and over I was receiving amazing tools that I wished I’d had 12 months earlier.
The love I have for this man has never left me. I still love him as deeply as I once did, its just that now it has a different flavour – he’s in a different place in my heart and in my life. Do I still believe love conquers all? Well… at the risk of sounding a little jaded, I’d have to say no, I don’t. Love is imperative to a flourishing relationship, but it wont save it. In saying that, a toolbox full of relationship tips won’t give you extraordinary love.
Love Plus conquers all. Love + Non-complacency. Love + Generosity. Love + Presence. Love + Play. Conscious Loving = Extraordinary Relationships.
The Tantra Is Love Relationships workshop was the gold that was built from the ashes of that lost love. It has now helped hundreds of people in relationships. It has given Singles tools to change old patterns and attract the type of partner they seek in life.
I am now in a relationship with the man of my dreams. He is my best friend and my greatest lover. I have discovered that there can be more than one of THE ONE, and Conscious Loving is now a way of life. I feel unbelievably blessed to be in something that feels so full of love, depth, intimacy, passion and joy. There are still occasional challenges, but I now feel confident that the tools we have, along with our deep love, will allow us to continue to live an extraordinary life together.